TIFU by making my friend a Kingston coffee

2021.12.02 20:01 CrabsOnDisplay TIFU by making my friend a Kingston coffee

I've worked for my current employer for just over a year now. Everyone is really friendly and around the same age as me so I genuinely enjoy going into work every day and I've made some great friends. One of which, I walk to and from work with every day.
Last Tuesday morning he arrived at my apartment earlier than usual because he'd received some bad news in the night. His mother fell ill in the very early hours and was rushed to hospital. In the nicest way, he was a bit of a mess.
I told him he should call the boss and explain why it would be best if he took a sick day, or maybe holiday, but he wouldn't have it. He felt that he needed something to distract him so he was determined to go into work.
He did, however, ask me for a favour. I'm a regular weed consumer and since legalisation I've really taken it up a notch. I start every day with, what I call, a Kingston coffee. Named after the famous capital of Jamaica, its a special brew that kick-starts my day in the perfect way, so I was more than happy to make him one. I got myself ready, made us two coffees, and we set off to work.
As soon as we left I noticed he was sipping his coffee quite anxiously and working his way through it at a good pace. Then, two minutes down the road, I realised I'd forgotten my wallet so we had to turn back. By the time we arrived at my door he'd downed his coffee almost in one. He asked for another.
Now, I find the effects of these coffees to be quite mild. It gives me a calmness that really helps in my line of work, so given what had happened to him I couldn't begrudge him a second. I made him another and we set off again.
We arrived at work narrowly on time and before we went in he hugged me and said he felt like things would be okay. I told him I was there for him and that we'd get through it. We went to our desks and started work.
It was just ten minutes into my day when I started getting some crazy requests from clients that made everything a bit frantic. The next two hours absolutely flew by, but I managed to resolve everything and then decided to check on my buddy.
I walked over to his desk and he turned his head like that girl in The Exorcist. His eyes were almost pure red and he had a drop of drool on his shirt. I asked if he was okay and he replied, in the worst Jamaican accent I've ever heard, "Ja-maica, we have a bobsled team."
I knew I needed to do something so I went and made him a Wisconsin coffee (extra, extra milky) and forced it down his neck. He started laughing hysterically and said it tasted like a yoyo. By this point we were getting some bad looks, so I rushed him into a meeting room.
I was trying to talk to him and get him to do some exercises in an attempt to energise him but he wasn't making any sense and he was extremely drowsy. I decided to go to my desk and Google ways to dull the effects of weed.
Most websites just suggested other drugs or coffee, so I went to speak to another colleague who I was close to. I explained the situation and she said we should come clean with the boss. I knew I'd lose my job and there's a good chance he would too, so that wasn't an option. I figured we weren't far off the effects wearing off, so I told her to forget everything I'd said.
When I went back to the meeting room, my heart sunk. He wasn't there. I opened the blinds and saw him in the kitchen opening all the cupboards with our dear old secretary looking mortified.
I ran over to the kitchen and he was groaning the lyrics from Haribo adverts like the lead singer of a death metal band. "Kids and grown ups love it so, the happy world of Haribo." I started joining in to try and put the secretary at ease and said "we're starting a band! I'll put you down for a front row seat, yeah?" to which she rolled her eyes and walked out.
I pulled him away from the cupboards and he started getting angry at me. I told him our jobs were on the line because of his frailty and that he needed to get on with his work. He ignored me and started eating handfuls of raw oats. I didn't know what to do, so I just made him an African coffee (no milk) and hoped for the best.
Luckily, his throat became extremely dry from the oats so he drank the coffee immediately. I could see it had worked as his eyes fully opened like he'd had a light bulb moment.
He then screamed "HER MUFFIN WERE STOP PROPERTY!"
I had no idea what he meant but he jumped out of his seat and paced across the floor to his desk. I followed him expecting something terrible to happen, but he grabbed some reports and he pointed to a miscalculation from the previous billing period. He had spoken to me at length about this because his boss had come down hard on him.
The huge smile on his face gave me hope. He began working with extreme focus so I sat next to him to make sure he stayed put. Over the next hour, his posture had fixed itself and his eyes were beginning to go white again.
After an hour of silence, he turned to me and said soberly "the bakery expenses were being filed on the wrong account. They used code names for everything so it got mixed up and it was preventing a property purchase. The deadline was at the end of this week. I may have just saved my job."
We smiled and nodded at each other. I knew I could go back to my desk now and finish the day in peace with everything under control. We walked home together as we aiways do, then I invited him in for another coffee. We had a few and watched Cool Runnings four times in a row. Life was good again.
Tl;dr - A Jamaican bobsleigh team fights many odds, including a reluctant coach, to compete in the 1988 Winter Olympics. They train in harsh and sunny climes for a sport that chills them to their bones.
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